Labor Pains

Voila! There's the offense! The White Sox had a good home series versus the Wild Card leading Boston Red Sox, winning 3 of the 4 contests over the Labor Day weekend. This thumping of the Beantown fucks comes just over a week after they punished an extremely underperforming White Sox club in the pinball machine that is Fenway Park. This much-needed retribution leads me to the ask the inevitable question:

How you like them apples, Matt Damon?

Red Sox starting pitcher Paul Byrd, opting to add "White Sox lineup" to the list of his personal struggles somewhere in between "pornography" and "using enough HGH to stay competitive but not enough to make my testicles atrophy", let in 7 runs in his start at US Cellular Field. Hey, Paul? The Warren Spahn windup thing was neat the first few years you did it and all, but... it's not holding water. Perhaps that's why pitching technique evolved beyond windmilling your arms willy-nilly and high-kicking your lead foot like a jackass? Here's a thought: put down the vintage nudie mags, and talk to your pitching coach. Or, just keep struggling with your porn. I don't care. Either way, you're ugly and you suck. White Sox 12, Boston 1.

In game 2, Gavin Floyd up and decided to set a career-high for himself in strikeouts, fanning 11 BoSox batters in 8 full innings. Everyone's goin' to Sha-Booms! White Sox 5, Red Sox 1.

Game 3 was a classic letdown. Johnny Danks only let in 3 runs over 7 innings, but then Octavio Dotel couldn't make it to the locker room before he filled his own drawers up with steaming diarrhea. No run support for Danks. Again. I don't know if John Danks can afford to look more pissed. Red Sox 6, White Sox 1.

Game 4 was a classic Mark Buehrle performance; aka "I'm gonna let on plenty of runners, but somehow I'm gonna manage to squeak out of every situation and let in one run." After Buehrle's month and a half long hangover following El Perfecto, it was a welcome sight. I mean, there's a lot in my book that you're entitled to after throwing a perfect game, but I was starting to worry. White Sox 5, Boston 1.

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Next up, 2 games versus the Oakland A's, who we've struggled with this year. Trap series, anyone?

Injury Update: Gordon Beckham pulled an oblique muscle in the Saturday game vs. Boston, and is supposedly on track to be back in tomorrow. Thank God. I don't wanna lose your love tonight, Gordon.