"The Grass Was Too Big"

White Sox - 5
Cubs - 0

The Chicago White Sox didn't seem to win yesterday's game so much as the Chicago Cubs seemed to lose it. In particular, a certain left fielder seemed to take it upon himself to shoot his own team in the foot whenever he got the chance.

The free-swinging, jumping-while-catching Alfonso Soriano went 0-for-4 on the day at the plate, striking out three times. In the top of the 8th inning, with the Sox leading 1-0, he botched a routine fly ball off the bat of AJ Pierzynski. Gordon Beckham scored from first base as a result of the error, and when the dust settled, Pierzynski stood on third with nobody out. Pierzynski scored later in the inning to put the Sox up 3-0; Soriano's error was clearly the play of the game.

Soriano's explanation: "I tried to catch the ball after I lost my balance, but I think the grass was too big. I'm not making an excuse, but that was the first time it happened where I slipped trying to catch the ball."

Wait, what? I'm sorry. Did you just say that... the grass... was too big? I don't even know where to begin to addressing that. Secondly- and Jarrett probably has a better estimate on this one than I do- I'm sure that this wasn't the first time that Soriano has slipped trying to catch a ball. Just say it: "I overran the ball after misjudging it and couldn't recover. I made a mistake. I need to work on my outfielding technique." You know, take some responsibility for your own actions. Or, just blame it on the grass... being too big. Whatever floats your boat.

To cap off his big day, and as if knowing that I were going to write this piece, Soriano struck out swinging to end the game. He fanned on the third consecutive curveball he was fed... anyone wanna bet what the scouting reports say about how to pitch to Fonsie?

Poor Lou. No wonder he looks and acts so defeated all of the time. Listen to him talk about the loss here... he seems so resigned to his fate. Before, I just kinda thought he was slipping in his old age, and losing some of the notorious edge that he once possessed. But I'm beginning to believe that Lou, having been a major league outfielder for his entire career (and on some damn fine teams) is literally dying as a result of observing the Jim Hendry assemblage of outfielders. I mean, the corner positions are both manned by designated hitters who can't field a lick, to whom $111 million dollars are going after this year. That doesn't even factor in the Fukudome signing, where Hendry gave big-time money to a completely unproven player- to the tune of $26.5 million through 2012. That's an awful lot of bad, in total- $137.5 million dollars' worth. When Hendry inked these contracts, I bet his desk was too big.

Way to be, Jim Hendry. You're killing Sweet Lou.

-=-=-

Tonight's Sox Matchup: Boston

Pitchers: Paul Byrd (1-0, 0.00) v. Freddy Garcia (0-2, 5.94)