Who is Your Papi, and What Does He Do?

Red Sox - 3
White Sox - 2

You know what sucks worse than losing for the third day in a row at Boston? Losing to a team whose only offensive output was supplied by 3 solo homers. The Red Sox haven't even been playing good ball in this series, nay, this year... and it's just incredibly frustrating to watch the White Sox literally giving away games with more zeal than Michael Jackson gave out roofies. Four in a row, now, in the last week of August. Feel free to just take me up in a hot air balloon and violate me in the airspace over the Neverland Ranch... it can't possibly be more embarrassing than the baseball I've had to watch throughout the last week.


To compliment yet another quality start by the White Sox rotation, our offense went all David Copperfield David Blaine Criss Angel MINDFREAK Siegfried & Roy, and just vanished into thin air. For the love of Harold Baines, half of tonight's scoring came via Scott Podsednik's power stroke. You can imagine how happy that little tidbit makes me. Thanks, Pods, you asshole.

David Ortiz put in his 66.6% or so of the run total, jacking up Gavin Floyd early and then wrapping a hanging Tony Pena slider well around Pesky's Pole to cap off the game in the bottom of the 9th. Fun.

I know our "Boston contingent of readership" is strong here at Addison to 35th. And I'm always looking for you "pahty animals" to have yourselves a good time. So here are my steps to start a ripping party in Boston tonight:

1. Gather together with 10+ friends
   
2. Dress up like Indians
   
3. Toss Jermaine Dye and Alexei Ramirez into Boston Harbor

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"The End Is Nigh Because _____________."

"The End Is Nigh Because Paul Konerko Hit A Triple Tonight."