Optimism for 2009: Pointless?

After reading this, I'm calling "bullshit" on Ozzie Guillen. Here's the choice quote from it, if you're not interested in fully seeking it out:

"I think right now, this club is good enough to win the World Series."

And I think you'd better be capable of winning a season series against the Orioles if you really want to go on and clinch the biggest series of them all. Just my two cents. And you need your 3-4-5 guys to show up. You need to have a leadoff guy who doesn't get picked off at a steady clip. You need to back solid pitching outings by dubious starters with semi-solid offensive output. What's the baseball equivalent of Viagra? Ship 100 boxes of that to the White Sox, and bill me for it later. Or, maybe make it baseball Cialis, because it seems a bit more pastoral and pleasant from what I get out of those commercials. Bathtubs next to a lake, and such, now that the kids are all gone. Pleasant.

Speaking of the flaccid... after the second deflating loss to Boston in two nights, here is a list of worrisome things that may be keeping me up late into tonight:

1. Scott Linebrink's existence on the roster
   
2. Jermaine Dye's average since All-Star break (.180)
   
3. Matt Thornton seemingly losing ability to locate
   
4. Sneaking Twins, accelerating Tigers
   
5. Jose Contreras' existence on the roster
   
6. Jake Peavy's bruised elbow
   
7. Phil Rogers' exposed penis

No rest for the weary, I suppose. Try to catch some shut-eye, campers.