No. No Times Ten. CC Said.

Yankees - 5
White Sox - 2

Yankees' ace CC Sabathia, he of the TALL and the FAT (6'7", 290 lbs.), struck out ten of the twenty-nine Sox batters he faced through 7 innings. He gave up his fair share of hits, but only allowed 2 runs. All non-Yankees fans are anxiously awaiting the onset of his diabetes.

Again, the Sox failed to give a starter run support after a quality start. It's getting really, really old. Sorry, Buehrle.

Sox catcher Ramon Castro managed to squeeze his way into Yankees' right fielder Nick Swisher's busy schedule, and was gunned out at home in between Swisher's 6 p.m. tip-frosting appointment and his regularly-scheduled 10 p.m. "watch me act like the biggest douchebag in history" jam session in the Yankees clubhouse. Nice to see you're bouncing back from that career-worst season you had there, Nick... last year. For us. Dick.

The game went to ten, and in came Randy Williams to pitch for the Sox. Naturally, ol' Randy let two on, and then Robinson Cano sent the game-winning dinger way out into the right center bleachers. With every appearance he makes, I'm becoming more and more convinced that our scouts discovered Williams while he was throwing his own shit against a wall backstage at a Rascal Flatts concert, or something.

Amen.

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Tomorrow's White Sox starter = TBA? Contreras? Looks like I'll be drinking.