Gonzalez for Konerko in Three-Way Deal with Anaheim?
Thanksgiving is almost here, and we Sox fans might have something to actually be thankful for this year, besides putting that steaming piece of shit which was our last season to bed, permanent-like. It was like a biblical shit-storm. Like, God himself rained fire and brimstone on Sodom, Gommorah, and the 2009 Chicago White Sox. And not even in that order.
Speaking of Godly events and converting an entire populace from sin to see the light, the rumor mills are circulating word that Kenny is trying to hack out a three-team deal which would bring slugger Adrian Gonzalez from the depths of hell out in San Diego and get him in the mix at US Cellular Field, where pitchers go to die.
(Except for Scott Linebrink, who- like a platypus- has failed to meet extinction and manages to survive on with no real purpose other than looking ridiculous. The platypus is an excellent swimmer; I'm not sure what the hell Linebrink is good at. Oh wait, now I remember: hanging fastballs for people to piss on. That's right. Yeah, he's really good at that.)
Anyway, back to the half-full glass. Adrian Gonzalez can hit the living shit out of a baseball. He hits it like Sammy Sosa hits his wife: hard, and unapologetically. If he puts on a Sox uniform, I would think Gonzo would be one of the best hitters to wear it since Frank Thomas in his prime. Don't believe me? Check out his stats from last year:
160 games played, 153 hits, 27 doubles, 40 home runs, 99 runs batted in, 119 walks, a batting average of .277, an on-base percentage of .407, and an on-base plus slugging figure of .958.
Where do I sign my name on this thing?
His full-season averages look pretty tasty as well: 168 hits, 36 doubles, 32 homers, 98 rbi, a .281 batting average, and an OBP of .362. I would love to see a power-hitting left-handed bat like this right smack in the middle of our lineup... that isn't necessarily Jim Thome. Yes. Yes please.
Here's another couple of perks: Gonzalez is only 27 years old, and- here's the best part- he's cheaper than a fucking case of Schlitz. He's scheduled to make $4.75 million next year, and then make $5.5 million with a club option in 2011. I think I'd take that option.
Now, the catch: vaya con dios, Paul Konerko. You'll finally be going to Anaheim. And see you later, prospects: Tyler Flowers, Daniel Hudson, Jordan Danks, Dayan Viciedo, and Brent Morel have all been named as possible chips to be sent to either Anaheim or San Diego. I don't mind the idea of us shipping out any/all of these prospects, because after hearing names like Lance Broadway/Charlie Haegar/Aaron Poreda being talked up like the second coming of Maddux/Smoltz/Glavine by Hawk Harrelson and Phil "The More Foot You Show The Hotter I Get" Rogers over the past x years, I'm pretty much over our evaluation of player development... and Gordon Beckham doesn't count in the collective shitpile of Sox prospects, because even Stevie Wonder could see that kid could rake in college.
Ah, the silence...
I am at peace with my idea of Paul Konerko. He's been tailing off in the past few years, and he also has a $12 million contract hanging over us like Black Death 1400something. I love Paulie, he'll always be one of my favorite Sox players, but if losing him can in any way bring us Adrian Gonzalez, then don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, old timer. It's been a treat.
In summation, Konerko to Anaheim with prospects, Sox/Anaheim prospects to San Diego. Adrian Gonzalez to Chicago. Good day.
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In other news, Buerhle won a Gold Glove, which is great and all except for the part where people win Gold Gloves with pretty much zero merit defensively. See also: Derek Jeter winning one this year. Anyway, it's cool for Buerhle to get some acknowledgement, congratulations!
In other award news, Bacon didn't get Rookie of the Year. He actually finished 5th in the voting, behind Jeff Niemann (TB), Rick Porcello (DET), Elvis Andrus (TEX), and the big winner Andrew Bailey of Oakland. I don't think they factored the quality of these players' respective hair-dos into the voting process. Writers.
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And to close, Kenny says that Chone Figgins is too damn expensive. We knew this anyway. Just please don't bring back Podsednik. Then again, if you bring us Adrian Gonzalez, you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want. I'll be agreeable.
It's been quite some time since I dropped a post here, like a turd into a punch bowl at a soiree, but I heard something here that's worth mentioning:
The Sporting News has announced that White Sox Gordon Beckham as their winner for the 2009 American League Rookie of the Year, according to Scott Merkin of MLB.com.
Beckham's splits, for a rookie, are impressive: .270 batting average, 65 runs batted in, 41 walks, an .808 on base + slugging percentage, 28 doubles, and 14 home runs - all in 108 games and 378 plate appearances.
By contrast, take those numbers with Evan Longoria's from the year before: .272 batting average, 85 runs batted in, 46 walks, .874 on base + slugging percentage, 31 doubles, and 27 homers. However, Longoria played in 122 games and had 508 plate appearances.
Let's take these two head-to-head and break the statistics down, shall we?
I think, on the whole, you can make an argument that Gordon Beckham in 2009 had a better rookie year at the plate than the much-touted, Peter Gammons chubbie-backed Longoria did in 2008. The statistics back me up for the most part: Beckham's never going to be a home run hitter, but you can see that he's a doubles machine and takes more walks than Longoria. I love guys who take walks.
Another aspect of this debate which is a critical point: look at the surrounding cast for each player in their respective Rookie of the Year campaigns. The Devil Rays went to the World Series in 2008, and had BJ Upton and Carl Crawford in front of Longoria. The 2009 White Sox finished up 79-83 on the year, and had Scott Podsednik in front of Beckham.
I ran a graph comparison between the two on FanGraphs, and the results look pretty nice.
And, on top of that, Bacon has the best walk up music in all of the Major Leagues. This is not open for debate:
So, let's not go out and have a Soto-esque sophomore campaign, Bacon. I don't wanna lose your love tonight. Congrats!
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Other points of note which I should cover while I'm busy typing:
The Sox picked up Freddy Garcia's option for $1M, with $2M in possible incentives. Perhaps he gets some sort of bonus for sweating profusely?
Matt Thornton's option was also exercised, at $2.25M. His next option will be $3M after this year, which by my logic is probably a lot less than Bobby Jenks will demand, and without that whole declining velocity thing.
DeWayne Wise declared himself a free agent. I'm really glad he was there at the fence to save Buehrle's perfect game. That catch was awesome. But, on the realistic side, DeWayne Wise can't really hit. At all. Thanks for playing some D for us.
The Sox are discussing a Podsednik deal. Somehow, the UZR ratings used to evaluate a player's worth if he goes to free agency graded out Pod's defensive play as "average". Clearly, the UZR rating system is in need of an overhaul if this is the case.
Will they deal Jenks? Will they not? His velocity is on the decline, and he popped his calf at the end of the year, so methinks his value may not be what it once was. This is unfortunate. I also heard an interesting rumor regarding Jenks + prospects being sent to Tampa for Carl Crawford. Tampa could use some bullpen bolstering, and we could certainly use someone like Carl Crawford at the top end of our lineup. But what prospects do we have that can be used to balance out such a deal? I'm thinking this won't happen. Jenks supposedly wants to stay in Chicago, but isn't pleased that the team more or less called him "a fatty boom-batty." Yes, he's a total lard-ass. And he's out of shape. And he keeps getting hurt because of it. We'll see how Big Bad looks when pitchers and catchers report: your over/under is 290 el-bees. (FYI: I'm takin' the over.)
Jim Thome: ''I'll be honest, I would still love to come back. I still care about the city. I mean, we're going to live there. Chicago's very fond in my heart. The time that I spent there, Jerry Reinsdorf treated me great. I guess we'll deal with that when this is all over with.'' I would love for this to happen. I'm a sentimental man. And I don't want to see him in a Twins uniform... because he would absolutely kill us.
I want to make friends with Palehosed. I see some common sentiments between us. Check them out if you get a chance: I especially love the banners across the top of the page.
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I had been hoping for an All-LA Series this year, so that the plot to "Colors" could possibly unfold before our very eyes, and possibly force Sean Penn and Robert DuVall into a squad car together to play good cop / bad cop amongst the chaos which would surely ensue.
"But you're just like them, Pac-Man. Nothin' but a gangster."
Anyway, it's looking more like Philly/Yankees, which actually should be a pretty good series. There's a bunch of great players on both those squads- not that there aren't on the LA ones- but it would be cool to see Mo Rivera close out another World Series game perhaps. Or watch Hamels chump A-Rod with that unholy changeup of his. I like the dramatic angle of Pedro starting against the Yankees again. And bad things could happen to Shane Victorino! We'll see. The Divisional Series were piss poor, and these Championship Series have been pretty nice.
I was also hoping that Thome could get his Series ring. That's not looking too good at this point. Come home, Slugger Jim!
God, the Sox just... can we please just forfeit the rest of the year already? I don't even know what else to say about my favorite club at the moment. I'm so disappointed with them. Their level of play is completely unacceptable. I now understand why parents send their children off to the mallsummer campboarding school the Russian black market to be sold into sex slavery.
According to the Sun-Times, Ozzie Guillen and his neverending spew of expletive-laden gold has apparently hit the linguistic version of "peak oil"... check out this gem that he dropped after the loss...
‘‘I’m only going to say two things; I’m tired, and I don’t have anything ... it was 2 hours of satisfaction and then 2 hours of horse shit baseball. Go and ask them. I don’t have any more quotes, seriously. What the fuck am I going to say- they horse shit? Yes, they are.’’
Before the game, Guillen had this to say:
‘‘This is a tease, man. It’s like when you have a girlfriend and you are kissing her all over the place and you get to the mambo, and she says no. That’s where we are right now. That’s the way we are."
So, the 2009 White Sox are a horse-shit tease of a team. I can't help but completely agree.
As far as some preliminary discussions with regard to 2010 go, here's just a sprinkling of thoughts:
Josh Fields: he will be moved in the off-season, according to the Sun-Times. Here's a very telling quote from Fields in terms of his mentality: "I think I can be a big-league third baseman, but I know I'm a big-league player." Josh is brimming with confidence, as you can see. With the presumed departure of Jermaine Dye after this season, and without Jim Thome on the club, the DH slot could be left open to Paul Konerko and his old man legs. I have to assume that Podsednik's offensive output this year is an anomaly, and that he'll return to Earth. So, provided this occurs, and Podsednik isn't our full-time DH, wouldn't that open up a defensive spot for Fields at 1st? I'm not sure I necessarily even like this idea per se, but Fields has proven that he's got some pop at the plate, and has done a serviceable job at 1st... The DH conundrum for the Sox is incredibly foggy to analyze, being that there are more than 1-2 guys on this team whose gloves you want to hide behind the DH rule. Can't we just DH them all?
Freddy Garcia: The Sox are, by all accounts, going to give "The Big Sweat" a contract extension to be #5 next year. I like it. That would set the rotation at something along the lines of Buerhle-Peavy-Danks-Floyd-Garcia. I think the idea of Gavin Floyd being a #4, when he'd be a #2 on many National League clubs, is reassuring. Of course, these are pitchers that we're talking about, so they could easily suck beyond belief next year... though I doubt that.
White Sox bullpen: to blow it up, or not to blow it up? That's the question. In my opinion, I think that they should trade Jenks while he's still got some value, before he's due for arbitration (January 19, 2010). Since his last contract was 1 year @ $5.6 million, I've got to assume that his next contract is going to be well above what Kenny/Reinsdorf are willing to pay a closing pitcher. Why not try shaking the Brewers' tree? They love overpaying old/washed up closers, and Jenks isn't really old or washed up. Thornton could step in as the closer, and DJ Carrasco is the only other guy you've been able to consistently rely on this year. $5M for Linebrink next year. Ouch. Check out the payroll estimates here...
Chone Figgins. My Best Man & diehard Sox fan TS Hardman, esq. and I got into it with regards to Figgins coming to the South Side next year. TS maintains that Figgins will be 32 years old and demanding a contract to the tune of 4 years @ $44M, perhaps more. TS is of the persuasion that giving more than 2 years to a speedster at this age would be a mistake. I can't disagree with the speculation there- however, what I do know about Figgins is that he is an excellent fielder and would be a defensive upgrade at any position the Sox put him in. That's another thing I love about him; he's played every position in his career except pitcher, catcher, and first base. The anomaly of Figgins' defensive play is that he plays his worst at third base. Where do the Angels have him? Third base. If he came to Chicago, he'd be blocked there by the Golden Boy, so I don't think his fielding at the hot corner is much of a topic to examine. Defense aside, it's hard not to be intrigued by a guy who's batting .300 and getting on base at a .400 clip. I know some of that is attributed to who bats around you, but regardless, those numbers would rank #3 and #1 if Figgins were wearing a Sox uniform. His 28 doubles would put him at 2nd. He has swiped 42 bases, which places him head and shoulders above the next leading Sox runners (Podsednik 27, Getz 25). His OPS of .791 actually puts him 3rd on the Sox, behind Konerko and Beckham- which is pretty impressive when you see that Figgins has only hit 3 home runs this year. He's also scored 107 times. The Sox leader: Jermaine Dye, with 72 runs. I understand that Anaheim is a better team than the Sox, but that only goes so far in explaining Figgins' production. We'll see... It's a gamble to roll the dice on a speed guy at this stage, but his numbers are very hard to dismiss. Who knows- Anaheim could resign him, or the Yankees might just give him something ridiculous like 8 years at $176M, because they're the Yankees and concepts like "prudence" and "money" are hard for them to grasp.
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Now, on to the interesting happenings up in Boystown:
MILTON BRADLEY ASS-HAT WATCH UPDATE
Apparently, people having the nerve to interview Milton Bradley after the Cubs' 7-4 loss to Milwaukee weren't received all too well. According to Gordon Wittenmyer of the Sun-Times, the post-game interview of Bradley went down like this:
Asked about a problem with his legs, he (Bradley) said: ''I'm not talking about that. What else you got?''
Reporter: "Why did you come out of the game?"
Bradley: ''I got knee inflammation. I got two knee surgeries, and that happens when you got knee surgery, in case you don't know. What else you got?''
Reporter: "It flared up?"
Bradley: ''What else you got?''
Reporter: "How long will you be out?"
Bradley: ''What else you got? You got anything significant?''
Reporter: "An injury is significant."
Bradley: ''What else you got? What else you got?''
Reporter: "Was there a problem after you came out?"
Bradley: ''What else you got? I mean, you got any real questions?''
Reporter: "Lou wouldn't do a postgame; that's pretty rare for him."
Bradley: ''If I had a choice, I wouldn't do it, either. What else you got?''
Reporter: "Trying to find out what happened."
Bradley: ''You got some baseball questions, I can answer them. But [if not] I ain't got nothing for you.''
Reporter: "So you came out because of the knee?"
Bradley: ''You got anything else? I mean, broken record.''
Reporter: "That was a strange scene."
Bradley: ''It's strange? It's strange when a guy hurt comes off [the field]?''
Reporter: "Yeah, I didn't see a trainer, didn't see the pinch-runner go out there first."
Bradley: ''OK, it's strange.''
Reporter: "The scene was?"
Bradley: ''I'm out.''
With that, Bradley headed for the exit.
So what made this all happen? What was the root of all of this? In the sixth inning, Bradley pulled himself from the game without the consultation of a trainer or his manager. He just called time, and walked slowly to the dugout and up the tunnel to the clubhouse without a word, leaving Pineilla in the lurch. Lou didn't even hold a post-game press conference, opting to hole up in his office and drink "water":
"Once in a while, I don't have anything to say, and sitting in my office here and just having a bottle of cold water, it helps me relax a little bit, and you all can't get my goat as easy. Every day, somebody else is hurt on something different. It gets frustrating. It really does. I mean, it seems like every day there's something else that goes wrong here. Remember, this is a major league season of 162 games, and you've got to have people who are capable of going 162 games to the post."
"Cold water," huh? I mean, I guess it's clear. Poor Lou just sounds so defeated... and from what he's telling his friends, he won't be dealing with this for too much longer. Godspeed, Lou. I know you'll find your special spot on the floaty thing in the pool (with a bar in it of course), and you can spend your twilight years just floating along, enjoying countless "bottles of cold water" with those little colorful umbrellas in them... just listening to "Kokomo" or some such thing. It sounds like paradise.
Voila! There's the offense! The White Sox had a good home series versus the Wild Card leading Boston Red Sox, winning 3 of the 4 contests over the Labor Day weekend. This thumping of the Beantown fucks comes just over a week after they punished an extremely underperforming White Sox club in the pinball machine that is Fenway Park. This much-needed retribution leads me to the ask the inevitable question:
How you like them apples, Matt Damon?
Red Sox starting pitcher Paul Byrd, opting to add "White Sox lineup" to the list of his personal struggles somewhere in between "pornography" and "using enough HGH to stay competitive but not enough to make my testicles atrophy", let in 7 runs in his start at US Cellular Field. Hey, Paul? The Warren Spahn windup thing was neat the first few years you did it and all, but... it's not holding water. Perhaps that's why pitching technique evolved beyond windmilling your arms willy-nilly and high-kicking your lead foot like a jackass? Here's a thought: put down the vintage nudie mags, and talk to your pitching coach. Or, just keep struggling with your porn. I don't care.Either way, you're ugly and you suck. White Sox 12, Boston 1.
In game 2, Gavin Floyd up and decided to set a career-high for himself in strikeouts, fanning 11 BoSox batters in 8 full innings. Everyone's goin' to Sha-Booms!White Sox 5, Red Sox 1.
Game 3 was a classic letdown. Johnny Danks only let in 3 runs over 7 innings, but then Octavio Dotel couldn't make it to the locker room before he filled his own drawers up with steaming diarrhea. No run support for Danks. Again. I don't know if John Danks can afford to look more pissed. Red Sox 6, White Sox 1.
Game 4 was a classic Mark Buehrle performance; aka "I'm gonna let on plenty of runners, but somehow I'm gonna manage to squeak out of every situation and let in one run." After Buehrle's month and a half long hangover following El Perfecto, it was a welcome sight. I mean, there's a lot in my book that you're entitled to after throwing a perfect game, but I was starting to worry. White Sox 5, Boston 1.
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Next up, 2 games versus the Oakland A's, who we've struggled with this year. Trap series, anyone?
Injury Update: Gordon Beckham pulled an oblique muscle in the Saturday game vs. Boston, and is supposedly on track to be back in tomorrow. Thank God. I don't wanna lose your love tonight, Gordon.
The Sox batters failed to hit some dude named "Jeff Manship" today, and Jon Rauch picked up the win for the Twins after they tallied a run in the bottom of the 9th. John... Rauch... I think I might... puke.
No... Wait... Nope. I'm good. No. Wait a second here.
Yep. I definitely vomited in my own mouth.
Beckham and Alexei decided they wanted to hit it long today. Live the dream.
GRINDER RULE #67: the less baserunners you have on for a home run, the better.
As further evidence of the impending end of days, Podsednik made a great catch on a scalded gapper hit back towards the right centerfield wall, outstretching at full extension and sliding on his stomach after he snagged the ball. He also got on base three times and stole hisself a bag. In further developments, he proceeded to douche a routine fly ball because he lost it in the ceiling. So, in total, he can go fuck himself.
Somebody please explain this to me: if these games are taking place in a climate-controlled environment, how can it consistently rain shit whenever the White Sox play there?
Here's another couple of perks: Gonzalez is only 27 years old, and- here's the best part- he's cheaper than a fucking case of Schlitz. He's scheduled to make $4.75 million next year, and then make $5.5 million with a club option in 2011. I think I'd take that option.
