Showing posts with label Alexei Ramirez. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alexei Ramirez. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Never Trust Dudes In White Shoes


Athletics - 11
White Sox - 3


As if the last series versus a playoff contending team hadn't actually happened, the White Sox came out in the first game versus the visiting Oakland Athletics with about as much grace as this, minus the UN referencing in faux-Ivy League tonality... but definitely, definitely just as awkward and painful to take in.

The hapless A's (62-76) hung 20 hits up on the Sox pitchers tonight. All six of the miserable bastards. Our pitchers were more run-prone tonight than a tourist with irritable bowel syndrome pounding Mexican tap water by the gallon. The A's 6-9 batters, who average about .252, had 8 hits. Ex-Sox Ryan Sweeney had a good day for himself, going 4-for-6 and scoring three times. My brain hurts.

What goes up... must come down. Carlos Torres, who shut out the Cubs and limited them to 5 hits in his last start, was pulled tonight after just 2 outs. Torres let in 5 earned runs off of 4 hits and a walk, which forced Ozzie Guillen to go to his rented mule (DJ Carrasco) in the top of the 1st. Not good. Carrasco, who has been one of the more dependable arms out of the 'pen this year, just... wasn't there tonight. By the time that DJ's stats were closed out for the night, the Sox trailed 8-0.

From there, the revolving door to the bullpen just kept spinning. Surprisingly, only 3 more runs were allowed past the 4th inning for Oakland. I'd chalk it up to wanting to hurry things up so they can go clubbing with Cutler and Greg Olsen.

Offensively, the only bright spots were a 2-run homer by Mark Kotsay in the 4th and a solo shot by Paul Konerko in the 6th.

Tonight's "Let's Make an Error!" winner: Alexei Ramirez - #18 of the year. Sigh... Derek Jeter's made seven this year, and he's got herpes.

Oh, and just to make tonight's loss a little sweeter? Both the Tigers and Twins lost. Not that we need to... win... or anything...

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

SHIT'S FUCKING DOOMED

Twins - 4
White Sox - 3

The Sox batters failed to hit some dude named "Jeff Manship" today, and Jon Rauch picked up the win for the Twins after they tallied a run in the bottom of the 9th. John... Rauch... I think I might... puke.

No... Wait... Nope. I'm good. No. Wait a second here.

Yep. I definitely vomited in my own mouth.

Beckham and Alexei decided they wanted to hit it long today. Live the dream.

GRINDER RULE #67: the less baserunners you have on for a home run, the better.

As further evidence of the impending end of days, Podsednik made a great catch on a scalded gapper hit back towards the right centerfield wall, outstretching at full extension and sliding on his stomach after he snagged the ball. He also got on base three times and stole hisself a bag. In further developments, he proceeded to douche a routine fly ball because he lost it in the ceiling. So, in total, he can go fuck himself.

Somebody please explain this to me: if these games are taking place in a climate-controlled environment, how can it consistently rain shit whenever the White Sox play there?