APOCALYPSE NOW

After two years of mind-numbing South Side baseball intrigue leaving me without 90% of my frontal lobe and equally impotent, I have returned to declare that the end is near. The kingdom is most surely at hand. Is it any coincidence that 2012, long-speculated as having some sort of apocalyptic meaning, is going to feature a White Sox team with the projected lead-off hitter being Alejandro De Aza (92.5% impotent now)? When a Mayan worker finished chiseling "2011" into a stone slab, was he suddenly overcome by the feeling that his eyes were being stabbed with a thousand needles as he saw THIS vision?

So much time has passed that I do not even know where to begin attempting to catch up. Suffice it to say, Kenny Williams' choices of 2009- the Alex Rios waiver claim and the Jake Peavy trade- have left the Sox in a handcuffed position. In the case of Rios, $22.7M has been paid to him for a .685 OPS thus far, with another $37M coming before 2015 and a $1M team buyout kicks in. Alex Rios' contract would be more suitable for the NBA, it is so shitty. Peavy, the human embodiment of Roy Oswalt's bulldozer, has been paid $31M over two injury-riddled years. He has another $17M coming to him for this season, after which he will be eligible for a $4M buyout. In the case of both these players, I hope that the Sox have the common sense to cut ties with these albatrosses and move on. Paying out $5M between the two will save roughly $30.5M in cash.

Moving on to other shitty things, the present White Sox 40-man roster makes me want to immediately place my genitals on a car battery. Here is the rundown, with omissions for the pitchers on the 40-man- some things are better unseen. You're welcome.

Starting Pitchers:

1. John Danks
2. Jake Peavy
3. Gavin Floyd
4. Chris Sale
5. Phil Humber

Zach Stewart (long-relief candidate capable of spot starts)

Relief Pitchers:

1. Jesse Crain
2. Matt Thornton
3. Addison Reed
4. Will Ohman
5. ?
6. ?
7. LRP - Zach Stewart? / Dylan Axelrod? / Hector Santiago?

Projected Lineup:

1. Alejandro De Aza LF
2. Alexei Ramirez SS
3. Paul Konerko 1B
4. Adam Dunn DH
5. Dayan Viciedo RF
6. A.J. Pierzynski C
7. Brent Morel 3B
8. Alex Rios CF
9. Gordon Beckham 2B

Bench:

1. Eduardo Escobar IF
2. Osvaldo Martinez IF
3. Brent Lillibridge IF/OF
4. Tyler Flowers C

The rapture is coming. Bring it.

Royally Screwed

Kansas City Royals - 11
White Sox - 0

Kansas City's Luke Hochevar went the full length today, and shut out the Sox in the process. I repeat, Luke Hochevar just threw a complete game shutout on us. He came into the game with a 6.23 era, and we only got three hits on him. Let me restate: Luke Hochevar just pitched a complete game, three hit shutout against the Sox. Wait a minute. Let's try that again. Okay. Luke Hochevar just completed a three hit shutout against the Sox, and went the full length of the game. Luke Hochevar just tossed a complete game, three hit shutout, against the Chicago White Sox. Nope. Not getting easier to type.

Moving along, Sox pitchers got lit up. 8 of the 9 Kansas City starters got hits, and all 9 managed to get on base throughout the game. Billy Butler and Miguel Olivo, in particular, made life difficult for us tonight. Butler went 2-for-2 with 3 walks, scored 3 runs and drove in 2. Olivo and his Latin rage hit two separate 2 run shots, and drove in 6 runs total on the day.

In summation:

WANGO TANGO! WANGO TANGO!



An interesting tidbit from Joe Cowley's twitter feed: "Jenks may have sealed his fate for a trade this winter. Bye big guy." Apparently he was spotted last night joking and goofing around after blowing his 6th save of the year. Oney Guillen certainly spotted this, and broadcast it for the world to read. I'm guessing that means Ozzie saw, and probably Kenny as well... Kenny has been pissed as of late, from everything I've heard... not the time to mess around, Bobby.

As a possible result of this, and in conspicuous fashion, both Joey Cora's and Oney Guillen's Twitter accounts don't exist anymore. They were both up before noon today... Oney has been accompanying the team lately, and pretty much tore them a new one- alluding to the fact that Jenks should/will be gone, and pretty much echoing his father's sentiment that the Sox are terrible. Both accounts have been getting mention on The Score today, and I have to assume that somebody within the front office put the kibosh on the Twitter feeds.

Joey Cora's Twitter feed had a joke on it this morning:

Q: What do a mama bear on the pill and the World Series have in common?

A: No Cubs.

-=-=-

If Kenny was resisting the idea of rebuilding, and was holding out on the title window of the '05 remnants... I think this team's performance makes it apparent that the window is closed, and locked.