Thursday, December 3, 2009

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Cubs Fans Mourn Loss of Future Replacement Level Hitter with Well Below-Average Defensive Range



So the Cubs traded the much-touted Jake Fox, he of the "some bat, no glove" persuasion. That could be a problem in the NL, friend.

Fox and Aaron Miles, along with $1M to offset Miles' contract, go to Oakland, where Fox will never have to actually field a position. Phew!

How bad was Fox in the field, you ask? According to Baseball Reference, his average fielding range per game as compared to the league average stood at roughly 78% proficiency. That would be bad, folks.

Fox was played out in the field at four positions last year. According to the statistical breakdowns, he fielded exactly at league average per game in left field.

Okay, that's decent, right? Before you answer, please consider that Alfonso Soriano plays at roughly 118% proficiency in left field by those calculations. Here, I'm not lying. Get out your abacus and crunch the numbers for yourself, Poindexter.

In blunt terms: Jake Fox is a shitty fielder. What more do you need to know?

Not convinced? Let's keep going. At first base, he played at 70% proficiency. Yikes.

Okay, let's try him in the outfield again, since he apparently can't keep up with the pace of the infield. How about... right field... where we traditionally hide players who can't quite play defense (huge myth). That oughta be more his speed, right?

Wrong. Fox played at a 37% clip compared to the league average in right field. THIRTY-SEVEN PERCENT EFFICIENCY COMPARED TO HIS PEERS, PEOPLE.

Well, okay. So maybe right field isn't Jake's cup of tea either! Let's bring him back to where we drafted him. He came up a catcher, and Geovany Soto is too busy with his water bongs and vaporizers and his indoor hydroponic growing tank... let's put Jake Fox at.. CATCHER!

Catcher. Where Jake Fox plays at about 34% compared to the league average. That's ungodly. That's... well below replacement level. It's staggeringly awful. You might as well throw Yogi Berra or Joe Garagiola back there... they're wittier. (Grimace) It is Fox's worst defensive position! You know, the one that he's been playing the longest. Am I the only one whose bullshit meter is blaring at this moment?

So, in short, Jake Fox sucked in the field, and Cubs fans who mourn his loss are completely barking up the wrong tree. Remember, your team is a NATIONAL LEAGUE team, you inbreds. You need to have players who can field reasonably well at their positions if you want to succeed.

Aside from that, I don't understand what all the hubbub is about with Fox on the offensive side of the plate. Dude played in 82 games, and hit .259. I'm seriously reading people mourning him like the Cubs just gave away Mickey Mantle at age 24 or something.

Which brings me to another point: Jake Fox is 27 years old. If he was going to be something other than a journeyman pinch-hitter, you would have surely seen it by now.

Anyway, the Cubs get rid of Miles, who was shitty on his own accord. Remember- he was supposed to be the guy who replaced Mark DeRosa as the Messiah. That... didn't work out so well.

In return, the Cubs get Athletics prospects Jeff Gray, Ronny Morla, and Matt Spencer. Knowing Billy Beane, something is absolutely wrong with all three of them. Enjoy, North Siders.

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