Year of the Quota

I know they say that the Yankees winning the World Series is good for baseball, but I'm not sure I quite believe it on a personal level. There's personally nothing more devoid of surprise or intensity than watching the Yankees win another championship.

The Yankees have won, as of now, roughly 26% of the possible championship series which have been played since 1903. One every 4 years, pretty much. Is it even enjoyable for a Yankees fan, I mean really, is it enjoyable at this point? Imagine if the Cubs won the Series. THAT would be jubilation... Jarrett would probably cry... and I would absolutely understand it and be actually quite happy for him. Are there any Yankees fans out there crying tonight? Is there anybody out there truly surprised that the Yankees won this championship? They can outspend anybody in professional sports. This year, they signed three- count 'em- three guys in the off-season for $423.5 MILLION.

Is watching Nick Swisher parade around in the same uniform that Thurman Munson wore... is that just making your heart swell up with pride? Do A-Rod's purple lips just make you wake up saying "Good goddamn, it is fantastic to be a Yankees fan"? By the way, if you're all about quasi-embarrassing things re: Alex Rodriguez, check this out. Speaking of The Devil- seriously- speaking of The Devil- what do you think Billy Martin would have to say to Alex Rodriguez? Do you think Casey Stengel would be fond of him as well? Now THAT would be something worth sitting down and observing with a $9 beer.

Maybe I'm jealous. Maybe this is a case of the classic "Pinstripe Envy" which is a constant in American culture. Are the Yankees the best team in baseball? Absolutely they are. Historically, they are always right up there. Would I love for the White Sox to experience comparable success? Is that even a question?

But I tell you what: you can have your George Steinbrenner, and your Reggie Jackson's mustache, and you can have your Joe DiMaggio 1940 season. Ted Williams smoked his ass that year anyway. My point is that it's not what you do, but how you do it. The ends don't always justify the means, unless you're Josef Stalin.

You can have your Mickey Mantle driving drunk, and you should be embarrassed with regards to how poorly your fathers and grandfathers treated Roger Maris as he broke Babe Ruth's record. Also, you can have your lamer-than-shit Yogi Berra sayings. Yogi Berra is the ugliest sonofabitch who will ever walk on this planet, and his longtime reign as the undisputed king of ugliness within your organization has actually just been usurped by that steaming pile of shit, concrete, and chrome you call a "stadium". The one with all the obstructed view seating, the one with the $9 beers, the one with less personality than Comiskey II when it opened... the one with zilch respect for the actual history of your hallowed organization. You screwed up the first one so bad that you had to try to reconstruct it, for double the cost that it would have set you back to properly restore the original.

I'm jealous of the Yankees success. Who wouldn't be?

But man, do I hate the "Yankee way" of doing things. In every aspect. But they're so good. It's such a brutal inner conflict...

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Having said all of this, congrats to Mariano Rivera and Derek Jeter. Class acts, all the way. You shall be spared.

Go forth, and off-season.